Flashback: Cue the smell of burning cinnamon rolls in the new GE electric wall oven. " Mom, mom...smoke... mom!" When the smoke cleared...mom just starred into the open oven door shaking her head...I think maybe a tear in her eye, as well. But that could have been from the smoke. " Don't you say anything about this!" she shut the oven door, hiding the charred rolls. "The minister will be here in two hours, and you are to say nothing about me burning those damn rolls! " You got that?" We agreed shaking our heads like to bobble heads. " Now, march off and get ready. When you are dressed, stay in your room and don't make a sound till I call you. You got that?" (bobbleheading all the way to our room) My brother Joe and I had spent many an evening entertaining ourselves, in the bedroom we shared. I almost hung him from a nose we wrapped around our closet pole. We were playing old time western something....I got bored.. so I kicked out the milking stool....my parents had to cut him down! So you can imagine how dangerous it is for either one of us to be left alone....for long. (Dad has arrived, comforted Mom...all will be fine) DING DONG (fifties door bell) Oh oh.
"Paster Larson, would you like some coffee and perhaps an oatmeal rock?" (remember the rolls burned) "Thank you Ruth, I thought perhaps I could smell your famous cinnamon rolls." (Mom thinks," Damn it..quick cue the kids) " Oh boys, Paster Larsen is here".
Poor Mom. While Paster Larsen was sniffing out the charred rolls, my brother Joe was showing me something. I had only seen....every time we were alone in the house. Mom's falsies! If you have seen " Mad Men" you know what I am talking about...falsies. Torpedo's in a Maidenform bra! There the were, made of foam with a nipple on the top. " Its a hat", Joe said. " Put it on your head". Even then I couldn't resist wearing a costume. "Oh boys, come into the living room...now." Mom called again. Poor mom.
I felt like it was my big chance to win the Paster over. Perhaps a larger role in this years Christmas Pageant. Joe is behind me , pushing me into the room. "Weeeeeee!"
Here is the scene: No one, I mean NO ONE can catch me. I am running around the room with mom's falsie on top of my head. I am laughing my ass off. My brother is wetting his pants. My dad is trying to catch a greased pig...and laughing. Mom just stood in the room ...numb. I don't remember who grabbed IT off my head. But you can bet is wasn't Paster Larsen. Poor Mom.
And every Sunday when Paster Larsen gave his sermon. You know he looked into his congregation and saw mom. And wondered....hummmm.
When things settled down and mom was saying" I should have had girls!" The conversation got a little strained and awkward. " Don't ask for any cinnamon rolls" my brother Joe announced.
"Yeah, burned up in the oven." I said thinking it would move things along. Poor Mom. After that nite we were sometimes nervous to be left alone in mom's care.....I should have had girls!
The perfect 50"s family,"waiting for the tv to warm up...and watch Lucy!
My Classy Mom and Her first born, my brother Joe...seems sweet doesn't he?
We were often dressed as twins??? Three years difference in our ages? Our first and only horse! We rode it so much that Dad had to keep it together with upolstery tacks. Which make for a rough ride. Joe is probably getting ready to pull back on the springs...and releasing it ...springing me into the next room...on my head!
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